September 27, 2006

These last few day's have been tough, There are things going on in the spiritual realm that I cannot even begin to understand let alone explain. The effects it's having on me are even harder for example. I feel physically drain of all my energy, I feel mentally drained, I feel like I'm loosing control of my day to day life, my emotions are....... Well I feel like I could blow at the slightest things.
Example Destiany's father call my father in law today to see if he could come ove and see desi. Normally that's not a problem - however, he called yesterday and asked the same question but we were going out and then her grandma picked her up. The problem is he didn't bother to ask one of us he went past both of us and directly to my father in law, knowing full well that he would say yes. (underlying concern - Mike (desi's father) has professed to having feeling for Becky. He told my father in law this about a month or so ago. And then asked him not to say anything.)
I left strict word when desi's father got there that he was to leave when my father did. IT has also been made known he is not to be in the house alone with Becky for any reason.
On another note I'm trying my hardest to make myself available for my "did" friends but I'm having trouble focusing on things and do not wish to say something to hurt them. I need to protect them and myself from me. I just hope they understand.